My mom earned a degree in these and similar quotes by the time I was 7, and returned to the University of Parenthood for her Masters by the time I turned 14. Don't stay out too late, she'd warn. You need a haircut. Take out the trash. Go to school.
Most common: Clean your room.
Most annoying: Go outside and play.
Most archaic: Don't eat breakfast foods for dinner.
Seriously, what's wrong with a little cereal with the Late Show (besides watching "the Late Show")? Why wait until midnight for the a.m. go ahead to munch down on some Reeses Pieces when it's only 2 hours away anyway? There are starving children in Africa - what should it matter what type of food I'm eating as long as I'm eating at all, right?
But I digress. I've been holding on to that argument since 10th grade.
The reason for this post lies with another one of my mom's frequent chastisements. Wear reflective gear at night. This became a bigger and bigger issue as I began to pick up jogging as a way to lose weight and to relieve stress. In a typical Floridian summer, I wouldn't so much as run to the mailbox in fear of heat exhaustion, let alone 'round the neighborhood a couple of times, so waiting for the comfortable warmth of evening became a ritual for me. The sun would set, I would dawn my jogging sneakers, and out the door I would go. But this - like my uncanny ability to leave my clothes in the dryer all afternoon - drove my mother crazy. She would try to get me to wear a neon yellow jogger's vest, the kind that you could tell almost instantly someone was wearing because their mother had forced them to, and I simply wasn't having it. I would wait for her to fall asleep after dinner and take my jog then. I would "forget" to toss it on in my mad rush out the door.
Yeah, teenagers my age were sneaking out of the house for the most classic of reasons (sex, drugs, or rock and roll), and I was the dirty rebel who tip toed out of the house for a good cardio workout. Judge me all you want. Just know that my calves are sexier than yours.
But now, I've finally found something reasonably cool that can keep me visible late at night while I'm out longboarding. Check this out:
They come in different colors too. Red, green, yellow, blue, orange, etc, etc, and you can place more than one on your board. I want to get a pair that flash a mixture of colors so my board can look like a 12 mile per hour techno/rave party. My mom would take one look and say, "wow, that's very pretty. Now where's your helmet?"
-Andy
This post was definitely hysterical. You're not alone with those quotes from your mom and I laughed at the comment you made about your sexy thighs lol. That light up thing under your skateboard looks pretty awesome! Did you get one? It's definitely a good idea if you're going out at night. Great Post once again.
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