For When Phil Collins Goes Blind

I didn't die, I just got stuck on some of these:


Most of us can recognize these things instantly. Some of us even know that they're there to help the visually impaired know that they're about to walk out into the street.

They're called truncated domes, in case you were wondering. And they've had an oddly complicated past that you can read about in the Americans with Disabilities Act's report. (The gist being that they were required, then studies showed that people who are blind or visually impaired have been using other cues to come to the conclusion that they were crossing the street and therefore these were not really effective and were no longer required, but are now required again because the ADA has made it so). In theory, these things are wonderful. They add an extra sense of awareness to your day. Even if people who can hardly see don't really need them because they had their own methods of not walking in front of moving traffic before the ADA intervened in the early 1990s (hmm, imagine that), I happen to like these truncated domes as a pedestrian because I don't always pay attention.

This is me we're talking about. The guy who spent over an hour looking for his car keys when they were in his jacket pocket - the jacket that he was wearing the entire time he was looking for them? Yeah. I'm not always paying attention to what I'm doing. I've got my other stuff to worry about, like whether or not I'll get accepted into a graduate school, if there'll be any form of social security for me when I retire, and why that guy I just walked past was wearing stripes with plaids (I truly believe it's a guy's way of saying "I'm single, and clearly available"). Those truncated domes are a reminder for me to pay attention and make sure no cars are coming before I cross the street. But on a longboard, these things are a completely different story.

On wheels, truncated domes act like brakes. One time they stopped my longboard dead in its tracks while I, still coursing with momentum, was propelled out into the middle of the street, (thank God nothing was coming, or else I would have made the news - "Safety Measure Kills Amateur Skateboarder". My mother would not have been pleased.) so, they're quite dangerous to the right kind of crowd.

The same could be said about life, you know. When you come to the end of an era, you relish the fact that it will all be over soon. The warning signs, the transition phase, the truncated domes are there to say "hey, pay attention; some things are about to change here." But sometimes, you don't want the warning. The warning is an inevitable notice that the way things were going before is about to come to an end. This can really work against you sometimes.

That is where I am now. School is almost over for me, and I am standing on those truncated domes about to cross the street into something new. Will there be a job waiting out there for me? Will I find a graduate school that will take me? Will some Volkswagen run me over on its way to the Strawberry Festival?

I don't know. I can't say. But change is definitely in the air tonight. Oh Lord.

-Andy

Not a Bad Romance

I know that no one is really excited to talk shop, especially during a recession - I mean, why talk nuts and bolts when you can synthesize about whatchamacallits and doohickeypoppers? - but the time has come to compare longboards across the board, in the most general way I know how.

Mine is the best. End of post.

Ok, ok, so really. Follow me through this link to "Soulboards". Longboards are relatively expensive, so when you decide to get one, make sure that you like what you see. In fact, for this reason, I would even suggest that you pick some favorites or potential favorites online and then go to a local store that sells them to test it out before you buy.

What you will see through the link are a host of different longboards. Note number 1: not all longboards are the same. Skateboards are relatively the same length, so it becomes a matter of favorite design and (if you're really into skateboards) construction materials. Longboards also have a veritable plethora of designs and construction materials, with the added complication of differing shapes and lengths.

I'll address shape first, because ultimately, Note number 2: shape generally does not matter. You can choose a rounder, more skateboard reminescent shape, or you can choose a thinner plank of wood type shape. It's like the hairbow on Lady Gaga's head - oddly intriguing, yet ultimately unimportant to her music style. Unless she's got a bow that plays the bass now. There is not enough coffee in the world to prepare me for that. The only notable difference that shape gives is the curve of the board. Some are precisely flat for more rider control while downhill boarding, while others are slightly more "U" shaped to lock the feet in when just cruising down the street.

And now for the very defining definition of a longboard. Note number 3: size does matter. Stop snickering, I'm serious. The 27 inch long Hesher does not ride the same way that the 56 inch long Bombardier B56 Bomber would. A shorter board will give you more control in turns and in tricks, but a longer longboard will provide for a more steady ride over long distances. It all depends on the rider's needs or preferences.

In fact, if the rider prefers, they could get their hands on the handmade Texas Rolling Thunder. Soulboards states of this southern marvel:

Introducing the world's Largest Longboard 'Texas Rolling Thunder.' A massive solid wood juggernaut - 80" Long with dual tandem trucks Titanium bearings. Rock steady on downhill rolls. Comes complete with custom soul kryptonic wheels. Try this one on for size. Totally handmade. Call with questions.

The Rolling Thunder really is the longest longboard in the world. Anyone who feels the need to get this is either really going for a socio-political comment, or is overcompensating for something. You be the judge.

But ultimately, my favorite aspect of a longboard is its give, or flex. This is the experience of jumping on a board, feeling it sink beneath your weight, and then bouncing back to its regular position. Some boards have a great deal of flex, and others do not - the former being for more relaxed rides and the latter being for more high speed models. For a beginner, I would recommend a board with a moderate amount of give/flex because as you begin boarding, you will discover that jumping up and down on your board does act as a bit of a breaking method.

I personally ride the Retrofish Rasta Beach longboard, which has the "U" shape and a moderate amount of flex, which is more indicative of a laid-back sidewalk riding experience. I chose it because it was one of the longest ones in the shop that I went to, but I feel as though it was a really good choice for me. When you're choosing the one that's right for you, consider the length and give (or flex) of the board, and what you plan on doing with it. Eventually, you'll find one and bond.

Awww, longboard. True love.

-Andy

Sidewalk Hazard - Fallen Signs

In light of my recent on the town excursion, I'm dedicating this week's sidewalk hazard to an issue I discovered along the way. I didn't think that this was a universal issue, but who knows? You might get a sign stuck in your way too.

Ummm......that's not normal, right?

Still, I had to give it the "roll over" test.

Survey says....no.

The best part about it was reading the little white sticker on the back of the sign that says something to the effect of "hey, don't mess with this sign".

Hmmm...does moving the sign off the sidewalk constitute a form of tampering?

Keats has a theory of negative capability in which he suggests that a person should be comfortable with the fact that they can't know everything. Yeah, I guess that's cool. After all, year after year I learn something new, and I have to accept that year after year I was naive and foolish. But, there are times - like coming across this sign - when I don't have a logical explanation and I can't even deduce one from the aftermath. Why was this cut down and not stolen? How long has this been lying here? Who do you call to take care of this? Signbusters?

I wouldn't consider myself to have a type A personality in much of anything really. When you've lived on Oahu for three years and you've watched tourists come and go, the same as the tradewinds and typhoons, you come to accept that life pretty much goes on at the same pace as it did before, even if you've closed your eyes for a little afternoon nap. Work will still be work. Flowers will still blossom and perish. This kind of island mentality really affected me. But there are still issues out there - issues that you obviously can't just roll over. We've all got 'em. So the real concern begins to be, how are you going to handle them? Will you stop the presses and throw a tantrum (as I did when I took this photo? It was right before lunch - if you ever want to see an island boy angry, don't feed him), or will you find a way to carry on to more pleasing sights and sounds?

Valentine's Day is a holiday dedicated to love. So, love your partner. Love your friends. And love yourself. Try to bring a little cheer into their lives and yours by picking the latter option - by choosing negative capability, and carrying on with your life. And most of all, don't make this a one-time-a-year kind of deal. Signs of love always leave the best impression when they fall on the most unimportant dates of the year.

-Andy

The Longest Sidewalk in the World

On the corner of Bayshore and Bay to Bay is a little unpaved parking lot dedicated to joggers, rollerbladers, boarders, and power-walking super moms whose strollers often parody their SUVs in size, amenities, and torque capacity. It's free to park, and therefore amazing. That is where I started my journey to traverse the world's longest continuous sidewalk. It is a fairly wide path lining the Tampa Bay (technically this is the Hillsborough Bay, but unless you're cramming for a geographical version of Jeopardy...) that goes along Bayshore Boulevard.

Here is the majestic Bayshore Blvd, to give you some idea of the length of it.

Here's a picture from "A". I'm on the left. "B" is downtown, on the right. The faaaar right.

From my car, I crossed the street and headed south to the beginning of the sidewalk/park. Most

believe that the sidewalk park starts at Gandy Blvd, which is true for giving directions, but the actual non-stop sidewalk starts a few 100 feet from Gandy, after you cross the private entrance to some super expensive looking condos in a gated community. Ah, to be rich and famous.

Bayshore is truly picturesque, and knowing this they've built a lot of rest areas into the seawall, so people can stop and have a chat, or maybe just enjoy a lovely sunny afternoon, or what have you, provided they don't die crossing Bayshore Boulevard itself. I am not joking. Close to 5 miles and not a single major crosswalk for pedestrians.

Clearly the Tampa Bay County Commissioners were not big fans of the Beatles.

Still, there are really positive aspects of Bayshore. For example, this is where Tampa holds the infamous Gasparilla Pirate Festival. I didn't go this year, but I caught the help taking down the bleachers.

Also to consider is the amazing architecture. I am something of an architectural fanatic.

I once wanted to walk around downtown Philadelphia with a big foam finger and point and cheer at all of the structural marvels. For some reason, the rest of my family wanted to stay in that day. But Tampa architecture is really quite unique because of our Cuban heritage (after all, we used to be very well known for our cigar companies, some of which still stand) which hearkens back to a more Mediterranean style. This is why when you come to Tampa, you tend to see porches with arcades (several rolls of arches) mixed in with the more colonial houses. The climate also really favors these Italian and Spanish appearing homes. I can't imagine how much this particular house cost, but considering its size and location, I bet it cost a pretty penny. I digress.

Ok, this is something that I frankly did not get. Like, why is there this cascading staircase that leads out into the water and rolls in towards the wall? I'm sure that it has some kind of actual use like docking some bejeweled paddleboat for the rich people who live in the house above, but every time I see these stairs, I picture Katherine Hepburn or Vivian Leigh rushing down in a giant petticoated dress searching the bay for their long lost love, which is not very realistic.

But alas, like these women's careers, my journey must come to an end, and it does at the bridge connecting Bayshore to the Davis Islands.

In truth, my ventures didn't end here, like the sidewalk did. I continued on into downtown, with the intent of checking out the new art museum, but the art director or whoever stands by the staircase entryway looked at me and my longboard like I was pimple on prom night, so I pretended to read the prices and meandered on back outside. Feeling a little let down, I continued on to Moxie's, but they were full and looked incredibly professional - not at all like the laid-back attitude of frequent student hangout, Kaleisia, in North Tampa, so I gave this a pass as well.

Two strikes, and nothing else to do for the rest of the afternoon, I decided to size up the opposition at the University of Tampa. Strike Three. There are no photos of UT, because UT sucks and I have zero intention of trying to mask this. It was an awful experience. I felt singled out and as if everyone was staring at me, and when I stopped in their cafeteria (which, through amazing mood lighting, felt more like an upscale parlor that required more sophisticated conversation where you dropped old language names and phrases like Le Corbusier and Il Cognescenti) to use the restroom, I could have sworn that the two Abercrombie and Fitch models taking a piss were about to start doing coke off each other, or perhaps trade Louis Vuitton shades to see if their girlfriends "noticed". Either way you cut it, I felt largely out of place and I just went home afterwards.

The reason I mention UT though, is because I noticed something while I was there. I was the only person with a longboard on campus during my 15 minute rendezvous. I didn't even see a skateboard. This was very odd to me because ever since I decided to start blogging about longboarding, I've noticed several longboards and skateboards on campus at USF. As a matter of fact, not a single day goes by that I don't see someone with one - it's so commonplace that I usually just tune it out. Perhaps having a longboard is showing something of my social status (since UT is full of children with...what we shall call a disposable income). Perhaps its more of a social group marker, as I'm the kind of guy who would rather shop at Hot Topic than at Hollister (I don't do either, in case you're wondering. Most of my t-shirts are from Threadless, which I believe offers a creative alternative to mainstream department stores). Whatever it is, it's palpable. I set out last week to discover a new side of Tampa. And I suppose you could say that I did just that.

-Andy

Plans for the Upcoming Week

Isn't it amazing how you can live in the same city for years and years and never really see the city?

I got into longboarding for the transportation, but I've always just used it to get to class. This is kind of a shame since I live in the city with the world's longest continuous sidewalk. How could I write a blog about longboarding and not take advantage of such an outing?

(Besides, I have to take pictures of buildings downtown for my architecture class and I could stop in the new Art Museum for my Japanese class.)

But all around me, I'm watching my classmates and my coworkers freak out over their course loads. I understand their pain. Especially with the strain of being IMITATION SAUSAGE POOR (it's gross. Trust me.) life can be really stressful for us college students, despite the media displays of partying with keggers and roofies. I wonder how long it'll be until they start making knock off brands of those. "Great Value Roofies! Only at Walmart~". But uh, anyway, it's pretty difficult to take time out to do the things that you enjoy when you always have deadlines looming, so, if I can use school as an excuse to check out my fair city in the first place, I'm completely down for this.

4.5 miles of uninterrupted concrete, my longboard, a great view of Tampa Bay, and my camera. I'm gonna hit up Bayshore Blvd, the Art Museum, and Moxie's Cafe, if everything goes according to plan.

It's important to have plans. If you follow them, you'll be accomplished. And if you don't, you'll be a rebel.

-Andy

Sidewalk Hazard

This week's sidewalk hazard: Construction.

What a double edged sword, and a real pain in the ass. Because the campus has decided to do some kind of reconstruction to the gym, they've redirected foot traffic to add an extra 5-10 minutes to the paths to class, depending on how fast you walk, or - in my case - an extra 2 minutes as I circumscribe the parking lot on my longboard.

It's almost kind of insulting really, that the campus has decided to continue with this reconstruction despite our current economic state. Several monetary choices that they've made have recently been brought into question (such as the several thousand dollars spent on the shrub imitation of a bull in front of the Marshall Center, Tim Gunn's tens of thousands for visiting campus in one afternoon, and USF handing out free laptops to its athletes - don't even get me started on the ethics behind this one) while they continue to raise tuition and fees throughout campus. I can't afford a new gym, but the school is somewhat adamant in my paying part for one.

But on the flip side, Theodore Roosevelt was so popular as a president because of his reforms during the depression that created jobs for the masses. When you work in construction, and there's nothing being built, then you have no job to speak of at all, and that is a very dangerous thing in this day and age. So perhaps this is my school's way of bolstering the economy and the job market? Of feeding mouths in my community? That would be an excellent thing to consider, if that was somewhat core to their decision to gut yet another part of the school to build something new.

A double edged sword. How can they ask me to add 2 extra minutes to my morning routine (when I'm almost always running late already) in a culture where you could call your mom, download dirty pictures, and check on the status of the pizza you ordered all from your iPad at the same time? This is an instant gratification nation, and I'm not feeling very instantly gratified by this inconvenience. Construction, you have made the list and this week's pick of Andy's Sidewalk Hazards.

***

Since I was already taking pictures of stuff near the gym, I couldn't help but get a shot of this.

Like, what the french toast? I'm the first to admit that I don't recycle as much as I ought to, but at least I don't litter. What goes through a person's mind when they toss their trash on the ground? "Don't worry, plastic composts super quick"? "Check me flex my muscles while I spike my empty water bottle"? When it comes to athletics, there are two stereotypes that are often perpetuated: one is the health conscious, yoga doing, organic eating hippie who may not be able to throw a football to save their life but can bend over backwards in ways that are abnormally adroit to the point of being...freaky, and the other is the over muscled, sports playing, protein shake inhaling jock who might think that a chakra is an inappropriate hand gesture but can shoot a perfect three pointer from clear across the court without a moment's hesitation. It could be people from either stereotype that's leaving a mess like this, but guess which one bears the brunt of the blame and therefore should become more sensitive to socially environmental no-no's such as this?

But bottom line, whoever you are, don't litter. It's bad enough you're taking up the good parking.

-Andy

Admirable Mayhem

Wouldn't it be wild one morning if you woke up, had your cup of coffee, read the paper, changed the kitty litter and ran out the door on your way to work to see this?

To some, it would probably be annoying, considering that this is another force to deal with besides morning traffic. For others, it would be terrifying as hundreds of wheels whooshed past them on their way to wherever. But for me, it would be hilarious. A complete non sequitur to the daily bump and grind. Much akin to showing up at a protest and seeing this guy (EDW lynch), who made the Tampa Bay Tribune's "World In a Snap" page on Tuesday.

Apparently other people showed up with similar signs such as "I was promised doughnuts" to in effect draw attention away from the original protesters. On my way to a business meeting, I would have to find this kind of thing a bit humorous.

Similarly, when Toronto longboarders attend their Annual Board Meeting, you've just gotta laugh a little, even if you're not a longboarder. This has occurred every September 12th or 13th since 2003 and the dress code is simply: dress shirt + tie + board. Not to tarnish Toronto, but could you imagine if it were a much more famed city, like New York or London? Or even if it were my lovely little tropical city, here in the Tampa Bay? It would be a modern cultural triumph, if only for one hour, the streets of downtown were full of "business" skaters. It would add that little piece of insanity that we all require to stay a little sane these days.

-Andy

The Makings of My Longboarding

So, here's how I came to be a longboarder and why my coworkers now think I'm punk.

As I mentioned before, I was looking to get out of paying the parking permit at my university. Every year they raise the price while not providing very many parking spaces and doing something silly like giving you a ticket if you back into the ones they've got. And since I live just off campus, I figured I could use the exercise anyway.

Originally I was a biker. No, not the hardcore leathery kind; not even the girl's jeans wearing "I am less polluting-er than thou" kind. I bought myself a brand new bicycle a week before classes started, and it was stolen the first night of the fall semester. I even went to the cops and we got into a staring match when he asked me if I wrote down the VIN number to my bike.

So, I got a new (used) one that was cool enough for me to enjoy but crappy enough to not get stolen (and this is why you can't have nice things) and I rode that all year until the summer, when I went to go visit my parents and my apartment complex decided that they were going to clean out all the bike racks and left a note to that affect on everybody's doors 2 days before. They never said what they do with all of the bikes that they get. I had a theory that they were in cohorts with some bike shop in north Tampa. A kind of bike mafia.

Having failed twice as a bicycle owner, I decided that I would go for something more compact that I could keep with me at all times. I went down to the mall (the mall - in case you ever wondered where your little bratty brother got his skateboard, it's between Neiman Marcuss and Saks Fifth Avenue), and I picked up a skateboard. I even let the dude selling it to me talk me into getting it insured. I'm not quite sure what I was insuring it against, but...as long as there were no premiums and heavy deductibles involved I didn't mind handing over three more dollars.

Unfortunately, I did overlook an important aspect of skateboarding: I didn't know how. Let me tell ya, if you plan on getting one of those bad boys, teach yourself how to skate before you have to get to class in under 10 minutes. Trust me on that one. So after that first day, I started practicing by skating from my apartment to the dumpster at the end of the road. Let me tell you, I'm a pretty short guy and still I felt as though that skateboard wasn't big enough for me. I would propel myself forward on the grainy asphalt perhaps a total of four feet before the skateboard would come to a rocky halt. It didn't feel very productive, especially when I took on one of the speed bumps to what could only be described as a Disney's Goofy kind of moment. That's when I remembered that whole longboard idea.

A longboard is very much like a skateboard except that the board and the wheels are much, much bigger. This is the difference between a skateboard and a longboard. The bigger wheels of a longboard allows it to simply roll over obstacles that a regular skateboard could not, such as twigs, debris, and larger cracks in the concrete. The bigger board....well. The bigger board just makes it easier to balance as far as I'm concerned, but ultimately while a skateboard is designed to do nifty tricks, a longboard is designed to cruise the sidewalk in much the same way a surfboard cruises a wave.

I googled longboard shops in the Tampa Bay area and found one out in St. Petersburg, and drove out there one day to check out what they have. Longboards are clearly an investment because while I spent a grand total of $13.99 plus tax on my skateboard, I spent just over $100 on my longboard. But when I bought it, the guy asked me if I ever longboarded before, which I hadn't, so he took me out for a spin around the block and explained that it wasn't much more difficult than that. That day I drove home with a longboard in my back seat.

That was 5 months ago. Ever since, I've tried to up the metaphor that I'm a land surfer (since I can't actually surf, but it's got the laid-back yet cool connotations that could only be associated with the Fonz from Happy Days so I'm riding this wave and telling no one about it). It's easy to do because it already looks like a surfboard with wheels.

Because I carry my board around with me everywhere, one day my coworker ran into me on campus with it. He took one look at my longboard and my threadless designed T-shirt and said "Andrew, I didn't know you were punk". I just smiled and added it to the other list of groups I've been categorized in: goth, jock, slacker, nerd, geek, over achiever, and hippie. I am a man of many hats.

-Andy